on demanding euphoria


I think that I probably demand a lot of things. I suppose we all do. We've got expectations and boundaries to uphold. We've got preconceived notions and pictures of perfection sugar plum fairies dancing in our dreams. and usually they've been toe-tapping up there for quite a while. so yeah, we get demanding.

Yoga was one of the first practices that showed me just how demanding, mostly of myself, that I was. that my deeply engrained expectations of rainbows, butterflies, good hair, fluffy unicorns, toned arms, important promotions, and rave reviews from the whole peanut gallery were actually maybe much more about something else entirely.

Through the process of physical asana, expansive pranayama and meditation, I eventually learned to slow down and appreciate what glorious things my body, mind, and life already did for me instead of wondering what else they could do for me next. most days atleast.

it really never stops being a practice though. You have to keep reminding yourself. the ego is a snarky little bastard and despite its necessity in much of the outside world, it doesn't much like to be put in time out when it comes to self reflection. Sitting with yourself, reinforcing and reminding yourself and that your being is already good. there will always be shit we need to work on, people we could have treated better, loved harder but finding those mantras and breaths that remind you that your being is good already.

that it is worthy, it is loved, and it is damn sure full of euphoria.

Carling Harps